When Idiots fall in Love
by saucywench20
Summary: KibaNaru. Shounen ai. Chapter 1 has been spruced up.
1. 01 Surprise, Surprise Kibakun

**Title: **When Idiots Fall in Love

**Pairing: **KibaNaru

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto

**Pertinent information: **Sasuke never left, Naruto went to go train with Jaraiya and returned…um…and in this fic Naruto merged with the Kyuubi and is a fox demon…I think that's it for now……

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**Part: 1of 4 **

**01 Surprise, Surprise Kiba-kun **

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It was a truly beautiful day in Konoha.

The sky was blue and clear.

For the first time in a long time, Orochimaru wasn't planning an invasion. He was too busy writing a tell-all autobiography, one that revealed all the dirty and illegal secrets of his former teammates and was sure to bring him tons of cash. Why? Because someone as evil and 'special' as him just needed to spread the greatness. Not to mention that his favorite shade of eyeshadow was getting pretty expensive, but that was totally unrelated to the fact that he was currently broke. Kabuto was proofreading said autobiography because Orochimaru believed that he was too good for spellcheck.

Jiraiya was busy writing a few chapters of the newest edition of Icha Icha Paradise, much to the joy of a certain chronically tardy jounin. So for the first time in a long time, the women in Konoha could bath knowing that there was no middle aged pervert looking at them with the same intensity a starving man gives a ten course meal.

Tsunade was in her office, doing her obligatory paperwork under the watch of field marshal Shizune, so therefore all of the bars in Konoha could breathe easily, knowing that their Hokage would destroy their property in a drunken episode; _again._

And last anyone heard Itachi and his long time partner, Kisame, were busy in Earth country looking for Itachi's favorite shade of nail polish, _Sharingan __Rouge_, which was only sold in two stores in Earth country. Why travel so far for nail polish, you may ask? Because Itachi wants it and Kisame learned a very long time ago _never_ to come between an Uchiha and his nail polish.

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So everything was just peachy in Konoha.

Well except for the Inuzuka household or, to be more specific, a specific inhabit within said household.

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Kiba lay in his bed, with a perturbing thought rocketing through his mind:

He was in love with Naruto.

He was in love with the village idiot Naruto.

He was in love with the same Naruto that once snuck into his house while he slept and put his hand in a bowl of warm water.

He was in love with the same Naruto that farted in his face during their match at the first Chuunin Exams.

'What the hell is wrong with me,' Kiba screamed in his head. Kiba had learned recently to do that. It was a lot better than having his parents or his sister come into room after hearing him scream deeply probing introspective questions…again.

Kiba could still remember Kuromaru snickering at him as he wandered by when Kiba first began his wailing. By now all of the ninken probably knew.

Bastards…

'**Why are you fighting it?'** Akamaru barked, **'Even if he isn't human, he is the best suited mate for you that I have ever met. Think about it, do you honestly think some normal human will satisfy your needs and wants? Also, breeding isn't a problem because male demons can reproduce.'**

Kiba buried his head under a pillow.

Akamaru thought that he could hear a faint, 'Shut up.'

The huge dog snorted, '**You're acting like a silly pup. Just go, claim him and be done with it.'**

Kiba threw the pillow that formerly buried his head at the dog and growled, "You can't make me!"

Akamaru easily dodged the pillow and just looked at Kiba as though he were an idiot.

Which he pretty much was right now.

'**Well listen up, Kiba, me and the rest of the pack have been talking..'**

Kiba at this point in time looked at his partner with undisguised horror. Really, who wanted to think that a large pack of super-intelligent ninken was gossiping about you?

"What do you mean by 'the rest of the pack?'"

Akamaru blinked, **'I mean what I said. Kuromaru and the rest have been talking about how much of an idiot you are being by denying your mate. That sort of behavior is disgraceful and unbecoming of an Inuzaka.'**

Kiba just groaned in frustration, 'Damn it,' he thought, 'the entire clan must know by now then.'

Akamaru grinned, well as much as a dog could grin anyways, glad that he had made his point with Kiba.

'**Look, why don't you just go on a few missions with him and get to know him at the very least,' **Akamaru said and then tried something, **'If you don't then he'll be snatched up by someone else…' **Akamaru noticed a tic at this and grinned. It was time to bring out the big guns, **'Someone like the Hyuuga boy or maybe even the Uchiha.'**

"You seem to be awfully damn sure that he's my mate," Kiba growled. For some reason, the thought of one of those pretty boy perverts going near Naruto made him feel…possessive?

Kiba shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, 'What the hell? …Naruto's just a friend…a close friend….a cute close friend…really cute now that I think about it…,' Kiba thought of Naruto pouting at him and blushed. He could see Naruto glaring at him, giving him an adorable little pout which made him look like he needed someone to hug him. Really the boy was too small and frail looking for his own good. It was at this point that Kiba's thoughts decided to turn perverted.

Kiba could see, in his mind, Naruto's slim figure and wondered what he looked like without so much clothes, 'Maybe I should ask him to go to the onsen with me, that way I can really get a good look at him….,' Kiba stopped thinking and mentally bitchslapped himself, 'NO KIBA BAD THOUGHTS!'

'**If you listened to your instincts more then you would know this as well. Honestly,'** the dog clucked, giving the impression of being an old bitty, **'even if you didn't have any instincts you should go claim him. He is rather attractive uke material…,' **Akamaru finished with a rich leer…or as much of a leer as a dog can pull off.

Kiba just looked at Akamaru, wide eyed and blinking, "What instinct? I'm human," all the while thinking, 'When did Akamaru become a pervert?'

'**Not entirely. The Inuzaka clan has always had a very large of inu pool of blood going through it. Since your parents and their parents and so forth are distant relations I would wager that you are possibly half Inu-youkai, if not a bit more…,'** Akamaru trailed off noticing the look of shock on Kiba's face, **'Kiba didn't you ever wonder what all the demon history your family taught you was about?'**

Kiba shook his head, shocked beyond belief.

A sigh could be heard from the dog.

'**Well…you may as well talk to your parents or sister, seeing as how you didn't pay attention to the lessons. Just listen this time, okay?'**

Kiba numbly nodded and made his way out of the room to find his parents, his sister would just call him an idiot and bash his head into the wall.

Akamaru laughed at Kiba's zombified face.

'**That actually went much better than I thought,'** and with that Akamaru went to go find Kuromaru. The alpha would most certainly help give Kiba a 'push' in the right direction.

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Kiba sprinted from his room and started running around the house looking for either one of his parents and see if they could add to what Akamaru told him.

As he rounded another corner, still sprinting, he tripped over something furry and flew into a wall, knocking himself out cold.

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Kuromaru had been walking around the house minding his own business, when he felt something crash into him and then crash into the wall behind him.

He turned around and saw Kiba on the floor unconscious.

Kuromaru shook his head and muttered, **"Pups** **these days…they need to watch where their going…and they need to stop hurrying for everything…,"** Kuromaru then stopped and felt mildly horrified at the fact that he just sounded old.

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Akamaru walked around looking for Kiba, he just had to see Kiba's face when all was explained to him. That would be one of those once in a lifetime events.

Akamaru was just a bit miffed that he didn't have any opposable thumbs to operate a camera (1), which would have been a great photo to have. After all, there was no way of knowing when he would need some really good blackmail in the future.

He sniffed the air for a few seconds, and inwardly smirked, Kiba was near Kuromaru. It is going to be interesting to see how Kiba deals with the alpha.

With the thought, Akamaru hurried to, what was sure to be an interesting sight.

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Akamaru was not disappointed.

Right before him lay his alpha, who looked like he was trying to convince himself again that he wasn't old -again- , and Kiba, who judging from the bruise encompassing his face, who had yet to wake up from his collision with the wall.

'**Hello there, Kuromaru-san,'** Akamaru greeted.

The alpha turned to him, **"Akamaru,"** was all he said, looking pretty cool. He figured that even if he was old, if he was cool then that would outdo the fact that he was old. Inner Kuromaru pumped his paw in the air and screamed, 'Hell Yeah!'

Akamaru inwardly sighed; it just figured that he had to deal with a crazy old geezer.

'**Could you please get Tsume-san or her mate?'** Akamaru asked.

Kuromaru looked at him a little confused; Akamaru rarely had anything to do with his human partner or her mate…

And then he looked to the still comatose Kiba, **"This is concerning the pup?"** he asked motioning his head to Kiba's still prone form.

'**Yes. There are two problems.'**

Kuromaru looked extremely interested. It wasn't often that he got dirt on Kiba…well it wasn't often that he got really interesting dirt on Kiba. That one time where Kiba got a toilet plunger stuck onto his head was interesting but boarded on being a bit on the pathetic side.

'**For one, he apparently skived a bit on the demon lessons and just found out about his Inu heritage.'**

Kuromaru sighed, that sounded like something that Kiba would do.

'**And for the other, he is having issues with who his mate is.'**

"**The little fox boy?"** Kuromaru asked.

Akamaru nodded.

"**There is nothing wrong with him,"** Kuromaru started, **"Granted he may be a bit weird, even in comparison to other fox demons but other than that he's a fine catch. He's a nice boy. He's a very good match for Kiba. He can keep him on his toes, challenge him, and urge him to get stronger. He's also rather attractive and have you seen his hips? Those are perfect hips for a bearer, he should be able to bear many pups."**

'**I know that and you know that, hell the rest of the clan knows that! But he needs a push in the right direction.'**

Kuromaru nodded in agreement and trotted off to find his partner.

Akamaru looked at his partner and sighed, **'May as well put him in his room.'**

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Kuromaru just finished explaining the situation to Tsume and she couldn't help but sigh. She knew that she should have tied the boy to a log and explained everything that he needed to know about his family but no…according to her husband that would have been _extreme_.

"Damn it! I knew that I should have been more aggressive with the clan lessons and I _know_ that the log would have been useful but _no, _that was too _harsh_…," Tsume growled; ready to rip someone's head off.

Perhaps it was time to introduce her dear hubby to the wonders of log learning, although the clan leader was not sure if she was going to just tie him to the log and leave him there or beat him over the head with the log…

Kuromaru inwardly smirked, already knowing what was going through his partner's head.

Someone was going to be in the doghouse when he got home.

"Where is he right now," Tsume asked.

"**Akamaru dragged him back to his room and I am guessing that he is still unconscious,"** Kuromaru said and after a few moments of thought, "**He did hit the wall pretty hard."**

Tsume felt like bashing her head into a wall herself. She should have known that her knucklehead of a son wouldn't have paid attention to anything education-related. Also here's the hard part:

How do you tell you're kid that he's part demon?

This involved some real creativity.

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Kiba woke up in his room with a pounding headache and his face hurt. As he sat up on the bed, he noted that Akamaru was sitting on the floor next to the bed with an obnoxious 'I-know-something-that-you-don't' expression that made him very nervous.

"What did you do," Kiba asked, deciding to bite the bullet.

'**Nothing,'** Akamaru barked, looking even shiftier than before.

Before Kiba could say anything else, Kuromaru burst into the room and announced, "**You're mother would like to have a word with you in the living room."**

Kiba gulped nervously, wondering what this could be about.

'Maybe it was about that time that I got drunk…but how would she have found out about the toilet plunger?'

"**Well,"** Kuromaru broke through his thoughts, getting a little impatient, **"Get moving pup,"** and trotted away.

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Kiba walked into the living room, more than a little apprehensive with a few thoughts floating around in his head. About him being part demon, his family being somewhat demonic…

Although now that he thought about it, it did make a lot of sense. Hana was scary and he often thought of her as a demon anyway. Also it didn't seem too bad. Naruto was a fox demon and he had tons of kick ass powers. It was at this time that a little perverted voice in his head said, 'he also has quite the delectable ass.'

Kiba sighed. First Akamaru, then his brain….what the hell was so interesting about Naruto?

His brain, seeing that Kiba was going to be an ass concerning fond emotions for the blonde, decided to use the one thing that all teenage boys responded to.

Perverted thoughts.

Kiba, being the in denial young man that he was, did everything in his power to stop such thoughts from taking over but alas, it was to no avail. It seemed as though the more he fought it, the more such thoughts and fantasies gained strength and soon a torrent of perverted scenarios involving him and Naruto, broke through Kiba's defenses; making the boy pretty dazed and mop up one hell of a nosebleed.

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As Kiba entered the living room he looked around nervously. He was now dealing with his mom, the person that Hana inherited her psychotic temper from. The woman who threatened to set his room on fire if he didn't clean it and later did so.

After a few moments of silence, Kiba started getting scared.

Then suddenly…

BOOM!

Tons of little smoke bombs went off filling the living room with smoke, while it was somehow raining confetti.

When the smoke dissipated, Kiba's mom appeared along with all the dogs.

"Surprise, Surprise Kiba-kun! Welcome to the wonderful, slightly demonic life of the Inuzaka dearest son of mine!"

All the dogs blinked at the declaration, looking at Tsume as though she were insane (which she was) while Kiba, in a remarkable display of understanding and acceptance fainted.

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**A/N: I decided to fix up this chapter a bit. I reread it and thought that it could have used a little touch up.**

**1: let's just pretend that for now Akamaru forgot that he could henge into Kiba and therefore have thumbs **


	2. Interlude 1

**Title: **When Idiots Fall in Love

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto

**Stuff: **Here's a little treat until chapter 2 is up and running…enjoy!

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**Interlude # 1**

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

The loudest, girliest of screeches could be heard coming from training ground 14. Said screech was so loud and shrill that most of the glass in Konoha either cracked or shattered.

The villagers looked alarmed at the noise, all of the surrounding shinobi just sighed.

A screech that loud and girly could only come from one individual….

Naruto Uzumaki.

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Asuma, Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino were in training ground 13 and therefore closest to the area in which the screech originated.

They all sighed.

Definitely Naruto.

For a moment, nobody said or did anything.

Chouji was the first to speak, "Do you guys think we should go see if he's okay?"

"Too troublesome," mumbled Shikamaru, "It's probably just one of his fans making a grab for him again."

Asuma nodded in agreement.

Ino giggled at that thought, her inner yaoi fan girl taking over.

Chouji looked confused, "Naruto has fans?"

Shikamaru sighed and nodded. Ino, seeing that Shikamaru was being lazy decided to elaborate.

"Well remember when you went with your dad on that mission to Spring country," Chouji nodded, "Well Naruto got invited to some party that was being held by one of Kakashi's old friends."

Instantly Chouji felt sorry for Naruto. It was a well known fact that, for some reason or another, all of Kakashi's 'old friends' had some sort of weird, perverted interest in the blonde. The really bad part of that for Naruto was that nearly all of Kakashi's friends were Anbu, Hunter-nin, or retired Anbu or Hunter-nin. So what would happen was that every once in a while some weirdo would pop out of a bush and grope Naruto and there really wasn't much that could be done because they were all so highly skilled.

It was pretty freaky.

Naruto was some sort of pervert magnet.

Ino continued, smirking as Chouji was starting to understand, "Well he went to the party and everything was going well until he got a little drunk."

Chouji felt even sorrier for the blonde. A liquored up Naruto would be easy prey to the perverted population of the village.

"Well," Ino started with a leer, confirming to all the males present that she was indeed a yaoi fan girl, "No one is entirely sure as to **what** happened. All anyone knows for sure is that he woke up naked in the forest of death and with a fan club," Ino actually pouted a little at that, she really wanted to go to the party, but her parents had roped her into helping at their shop, so she missed the whole thing.

"**LET GO OF MY ASS YOU…,'** Naruto's voice squeaked and a slap could be heard, "**YOU PERVERTS!"**

Everyone looked in the direction of the screams, which were now quite a bit closer than anyone of them were comfortable with.

Asume took a long drag on his cigarette, "Perhaps we should move…."

"**AAAHHH! DAMMIT, THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE PANTS!"**

"somewhere"

"**NO! LEAVE MY BOXERS ALONE!"**

"quieter…"

A flash could be seen near Naruto's general direction. It was accompanied by the smell of smoke.

"**HOW DARE YOU BURN OFF MY BOXERS! THOSE WERE A GIFT FROM IRUKA-SENSEI! GGGGRRRR….RASENGEN!"**

Loud agonized screams and explosions could be heard, then absolute and utter silence.

Suddenly a very naked Naruto ran past them at high speed, followed by what appeared to be a horde of off-duty Jounin and Anbu that were armed with cameras.

Team 10 was silent.

Asuma quickly finished his cigarette and lit another one; the sight of a naked Naruto was to much for the use of one cigarette.

Chouji just stood there blushing.

Ino squealed with delight. She saw Anko in that crowd and was fairly confident she would be able to get a picture from her.

Shikamaru had a healthy blush on his cheeks and muttered, "Troublesome." He mentally filed away the image of a naked Naruto for 'recreational' activities later.

After a few more minutes of silence Team 10 just went their separate ways.


	3. 02 Run

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

**Pairing: **KibaNaru

**Part 2 of 4

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**02 Run

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Naruto ran like he never ran before. Faster than either Neji or Sasuke could have ever hoped to move away from their fans. Hell! He was pretty sure that he was right now putting the Yondaime's reputation as the Yellow Flash to shame.

Naruto grimaced slightly.

'Those bastards got all the luck! None of their creepy stalkers were Anbu!'

Naruto considered running to his apartment to get his clothing, but that meant that he would have to run naked through the village and that was something that he refused to do.

There was no way in hell he was going to give even more people incentive to join the stalker club. He had more crazy groups after him than was acceptable.

Unfortunately while Naruto had all of these thoughts running through his head at this point in time he wasn't watching where he was going so he ran straight into a tree at full speed.

And that is how Naruto Uzumaki, the future hokage, came to lose consciousness in the middle of the woods as naked as the day he was born.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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Odd clicking noises could be heard in the forest.

"Hmmm…," a familiar voice intoned, "I found something good." This was followed by a perverted sounding giggle and a few more clicks.

Naruto groaned, figures it would be Kakashi who found him. But he figured that things could be worse.

His fan club could have found him. Naruto shuddered at the thought. He would have probably ended up as some weirdo's love slave.

"What can I help you with Kakashi-sensei?"

Naruto opened his eyes and saw his sensei smiling at him, or rather he believed so, it was rather difficult to tell with the mask, whilst reading his perverted little book. While waiting for a response he idly wondered what Iruka saw in him.

"I was just wondering why you were laying naked in the woods," like it was the most obvious thing in the world and for someone normal it would have been but this was Kakashi.

"You're _friends_," Naruto grimaced, "decided to come after me again."

"Is that so? Well tell me about it," Kakashi drawled appearing uninterested on the outside, but was very interested on the inside if the hidden tape recorder in his pocket was any indication.

"Well if you must know…"

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**About 20 minutes ago

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**

Naruto was walking to training ground 14, looking for a certain canine-like ninja. He had run into Shino and learned that Kiba normally trained there at this time of the day.

You see, Naruto always had a little _thing_ for Kiba and was trying to work up the courage to ask him out.

Hopefully all would go well today.

As Naruto neared the training ground, he felt a little anxious although he couldn't figure out why. It was just a nagging sensation in the back of his mind that was similar to the feeling he got when Akatsuki was near and getting ready to kidnap him. But for the moment he decided to ignore it and go see if Kiba was training.

Naruto mentally drooled at the thought of a sweat slicked Kiba and promptly ran to the training grounds.

As he entered the grounds he looked around and saw that there was no one there. Deciding to leave and look for Kiba elsewhere, he turned to exit the grounds when the nagging sensation came back ten fold.

Naruto looked around carefully.

So far, so good.

There were no freakishly tall, blue shark-like men with a sword or disturbingly attractive Sasuke-clones anywhere in sight.

Normally this wouldn't mean much. The two that normally came after Naruto were Kage level shinobi and could mask their presences perfectly, which was bad for Naruto, but they normally didn't, which was good for Naruto.

But then that posed a bigger question, who would be after him if not those two?

Naruto decided to run, deciding it was the safest course of action.

As he started to run, figures started to jump out of bushes, trees. Figures in animal masks, figure in jounin vests, with cameras, who were giggling perversely…

'They look like those guys from Kakashi's party.'

As Naruto's brain just process what he said, his eyes widened, "Oh shit," and Naruto did the only thing that he could in a situation that frightening situation.

He ran.

Unfortunately it was too late and hence the battle to protect his chastity commenced.

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**Back to the Present

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**

Kakashi put his book away to look at Naruto, "Well, what happened while you were defending your virtue?"

Naruto snorted, "Like I'd tell you. You'd probably sell the information to Ero-sennin."

Kakashi pouted, not that anyone could see it. Naruto at 19 was much smarter than the 12 year old Naruto that used to blab everything no matter how embarrassing.

And that sucked big time. He really wanted to know! After a few moments of quiet contemplation, he figured that he could ask Anko or Ebisu about it later. After all, they were the ones who video taped while stalking. One or both probably had the footage.

Naruto just looked at Kakashi, who was off in la-la-land at the moment.

'What's he thinking about,' Naruto then figured it was probably something perverted.

"So are you still going to ask him out," Kakashi asked, leering just a little bit but again no one could see.

Naruto blushed, Kakashi inwardly did a little victory dance and agreed with Anko; Naruto really did blush all over his body. This was information that would make him big bucks when he sold it to Jaraiya.

"Do you thing that I have a chance," Naruto asked, looking more than a little nervous.

Kakashi inwardly squealed, 'KAWAII,' really Naruto was just too cute sometimes.

"I think you have a good chance," Kakashi turned to leave, "Oh and Naruto?"

Naruto looked up, "Yeah?"

"You may want to ask him with some clothes on. Remember, Iruka wouldn't want you to give everything away so soon," Kakashi drawled and poofed away.

Naruto then turned crimson and got up when he realized something.

He could just henge some clothes. That way he could get home to real clothes without being arrested for flashing the village.

He sighed. Sometimes….just sometimes, he wished his brain would work a little faster.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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**Kiba was walking down the street looking for Naruto. His mom had thrown him out of the house and demanded that he bring his mate home with him. When he tried to reason with her, by saying that he didn't even know if Naruto liked him that way and that she needed to give him some time. She responded by giving him the 'look.' You know, the look that all mothers give their children when they are contemplating locking them in a cage and throwing away the key. 

So, that meant that our dear Kiba-kun was on a mission of love.

Akamaru and Kuromaru were sent as backup, just incase Kiba did something stupid.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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**Naruto nervously made his way towards his apartment, looking around nervously for stalkers and feeling a little scared. 

There was no telling if…no, _when_ they would go for him again and he was more than a little anxious.

Not to mention, he wasn't too sure if he could hold the henge while fighting or running away. One needed to maintain a degree of concentration to maintain henge and unfortunately that has never been Naruto's strongpoint.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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**Neji was walking down the street with his Byakugan activated. He figured that if he were to walk around with it on for a few days, his chakra capacity would increase a bit, and being the genius that he was, he always focused on always improving. 

As he walked down the street, he noticed a shock of honey blonde hair and looked on in shock to see a nude Naruto (1.)

Neji's genius brain could not handle seeing such beauty up close and he promptly fainted.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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**

As Naruto made his way closer and closer to his apartment, a feeling of dread overtook him for the second time that day. He decided to ignore it for the second time that day. No one had ever taught him to listen to his instincts before hand so unfortunately he had to go into dangerous situations blind.

Naruto looked all around him, eyes darting to every shaded corner, every potted plant, every single person that he didn't recognize. It didn't help his already frayed nerves to remember that his stalkers were all highly trained.

As he marched up the stairs of his building one thought kept coursing through his mind was, 'What if they're waiting for me?'

Naruto was so deeply entrenched in his paranoid, yet perfectly rational and understandable thoughts, that he didn't realize that he was in front of his door already. As he reached for the door knob a cold wave of terror went through him as his instincts and intuition decided to team up.

Finally Naruto listened to his little inner voice that screamed, 'Go in there and you can kiss your cherry goodbye!'

Naruto turned tail and ran as quickly and silently as he possible could. As he made it out of the building he ran into someone, toppling over that person and, dispelling his henge.

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**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

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**Kiba felt something or to be more precise, someone knock him over and fall on his lap. 

As he opened his eyes, preparing to verbally and physically punish the punk that knocked him over, he stopped totally struck stupid by the sight before him.

Naruto in all his naked glory was seated on his lap, giving that adorable dazed and confused look of his.

Kiba tried to speak but after opening and closing his mouth several times with no discernable sounds coming out stopped.

Kiba also tried thinking but that didn't work either.

Apparently his brain died.

* * *

**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

* * *

**Naruto was horrified when he felt his henge dispel. He was even more horrified to realize who he had fallen atop of. 

Kiba.

He had fallen on Kiba.

Kiba, the boy that he crushed on.

* * *

**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

* * *

**Akamaru and Kuromaru looked on with great interest, one thought floating through their minds. 

'This is WAY better than Icha Icha Paradise!'

* * *

**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

* * *

**Both boys looked at each other with crimson blushes when two of the most horrifying screams were heard.

* * *

**KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

* * *

**The Anbu and other members of the Naruto fan club were getting more than a little restless when the beloved blonde didn't show up. 

As they prepared to move out and look for him, a Monkey masked Anbu happened to look out the window to the adorable and embarrassing yaoi scene below.

"**OMFG! HOT BOY LOVE!"**

**

* * *

KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru

* * *

**

Iruka was walking towards Naruto apartment, intent on picking up his surrogate little brother up for their weekly ramen meal together. 

As he approached the entrance of the blonde's apartment building his jaw dropped in shock.

That…that Inuzaka boy had somehow coerced his little brother into doing something perverted with him! And in public no less!

"**INUZAKA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO NARUTO!"**

**

* * *

KibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaruKibaNaru**

* * *

Both Kiba and Naruto looked towards the directions of the screams with undisguised horror. 

Kiba, finally back on planet Earth, did the only thing that came to mind.

He threw his mate over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and ran.

* * *

1. I'm assuming that the Byakugan can see through henge. 


	4. Interlude 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto

**Interlude # 2

* * *

**

The mighty village of Konoha was known for many things.

It was one of the more beautiful ninja villages with luscious rolling hills and hot inhabitants.

It was home to some of the finest eating establishments.

And it was a well known fact that Konoha produced some of the strongest shinobi ever.

Like Jaraiya, Itachi, Tsunade, and Orochimaru.

Unfortunately, Konoha also produced some of the most insane shinobi ever.

Like Jaraiya, Itachi, Tsunade, and Orochimaru.

It took a while for this fact to catch the attention of the other ninja villages, but catch on it did.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact with each generation born, an insane genius or pervert (or both) would rise from the ranks and make a name for themselves.

This has been done by said ninjas either, kill their clan, racking up monsterous gambling debt, peeping, or stealing the bodies of handsome young men.

All of the other ninja villages have become aware of this and for that reason made it common practice not to associate with these four ninja, in fear that their _eccentricities_ would spread.

This may or may not have been influenced by the large amounts of property damage that each above mentioned ninja has performed at differing stages of their lives.

Jaraiya and Tsunade's destructive sprees didn't tend to go beyond the borders of Fire Country….well, at least since Tsunade became Hokage, her destructive sprees didn't tend to go beyond the borders of Fire Country. Jaraiya has yet to be reigned in, but his sprees were more perverted than destructive, and Itachi and Orochimaru were an international experience to say the least.

* * *

While normally it was encouraged by all of the other villages to keep contact with these four individuals to a minimum, all of the other villages were considering just warning their shinobi away from the village in general. 

Reports were coming in from all over saying that insanity had spread and had taken hold of the entire village.

People were now scared of entering the village hidden in the leaves.

It all started a few days ago….

* * *

Generic rain-nin team 6, was on their way home from a very taxing mission and decided to stop by the closet ninja village for some supplies, because they were generic ninja and need a reason to be in this fic to begin with. 

As they finished their shopping and were making their way to they gate of the village to leave they heard a bunch of angry/excited screaming.

They, being the sub-standard generic nins that they were just stopped in the middle of the street that they were walking down and looked toward the commotion.

* * *

Kiba was running like he never ran before, with a naked Naruto over his shoulders and Akamaru and Kuromaru trailing behind him.

* * *

Generic rain-nin # 2 whistled appreciatively at the sight of Kiba and a very naked Naruto. 

"Wow, I heard that Konoha had some pretty hot shinobi, but damn! Who'd thought that we would see such hot pieces of ass."

Generic rain-nin #1 and #3 nodded.

Naked blondes and dominant brunets were very hot.

Unfortunately they were overheard.

* * *

The Anbu and Iruka, who were chasing Kiba in order to 'free' Naruto from his 'evil' clutches and had overheard the rain-nins.

* * *

Iruka, filled with feelings of overprotectiveness, just grabbed a bunch of kunai and shuriken and attacked the rain-nins with the intent of defending his 'little brother's' honor.

Kiba could wait for now, Iruka knew where he lived so he could always come after him when he was asleep.

* * *

The Anbu, seeing 'rivals' for their sweet, delectable Naruto, attacked the rain-nin with the same fervor and insanity that Iruka possessed.

The Inuzaka boy could wait. They knew where he lived and they could always hold sneak up on him and 'detain' him at an undisclosed location.

* * *

In the hokage tower, which was conveniently next to the scene of the brawl, Shizune was looking on in horrified fascination while Tsunade was patting herself on the back for winning a bet. She had bet Jiraiya that, if enraged, the normally sweet tempered chuunin was as powerful and deranged as Anbu. Jiraiya disagreed, saying that if she won he'd pay off half her gambling debt. Tsunade inwardly cheered at how brilliant she was and made a mental note to give Kakashi a month's vacation for giving her that wonderful tidbit of information. After a few moments of watching Iruka finish off the generic rain-nins and start thrashing Anbu, she made another mental note to promote Iruka to jounin. 

Apparently she felt that insanity was a requirement for jounin.

Meanwhile, Shizune was having horrifying flashbacks of all the times that Tsunade had won a bet. There was that time that she had the winning streak in a neighboring town, that was when Orochimaru had asked her to heal her arms and all hell broke loose there. There was that other time that Tsunade won the village lottery, that was around the time that Gaara was kidnapped, had his bijuu extracted and died.

Shizune looked up to the sky, just to confirm that there was no meteor hurtling down towards the village.

You could never be too sure.

Shizue prayed to kami-sama that whatever impending apocalypse was awaiting them wouldn't be too horrible.

Generic rain-nin team 6 was never seen again.

* * *

**A/N: hello everyone sorry this update took so long but I'm having computer problems...really -bad- computer problems...I'm actually looking around for a new computer...but don't worry I'll update as soon as I can and if you all want to read more of my work just go to my profile and click on the link to my other account, delusionsdreamer...**

**Until next update loves**


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